Distancing myself from abusive father.....

My father has always been an emotional bully and I have finally made the decision to put some distance between us in order to keep myself well. Ive just told my mum about this and I feel like Ive broken her heart and he bullies her too so I feel like Im leaving her behind with him. I feel so guilty. I am bi-polar but my family doesn't believe in the existence of it so they simply accuse me of being overdramatic. I feel very alone.....

your doing the right thing no one should be emotionally bullied good luck with your new life it's a new start for you i hope you make new friends and make a good life for you.

your doing the right thing no one should be emotionally bullied good luck with your new life it's a new start for you i hope you make new friends and make a good life for you.

Stephanie: just became a member here & saw your post... sounds like you made a good decision (to put some distance between yourself & your father). As an adult, your mom will have to make her own decisions about tolerating father's behaviour; better that you are not in the middle of it. You can still support her emotionally without being there physically.

My family doesn't believe in mental illness, either - funny considering it runs through the family, and has made appearances in the last 3 generations (beyond that, I don't know). I told my father, Bipolar isn't Santa Claus - it doesn't go away just because you don't believe in it.

Wishing you the best

Stephanie: just became a member here & saw your post... sounds like you made a good decision (to put some distance between yourself & your father). As an adult, your mom will have to make her own decisions about tolerating father's behaviour; better that you are not in the middle of it. You can still support her emotionally without being there physically.

My family doesn't believe in mental illness, either - funny considering it runs through the family, and has made appearances in the last 3 generations (beyond that, I don't know). I told my father, Bipolar isn't Santa Claus - it doesn't go away just because you don't believe in it.

Wishing you the best

if bipolar is santa claus i want my gift.

Baby, you would NOT want gifts from bipolar Santa! Speaking from experience, I've made my most horrifying gift choices when on a manic bender (my father's 3rd wife never got over the twitch caused by unwrapping my wedding present, three, individually wrapped, hand-sized african beetles [for some reason, my theme was "metamorphosis"]. )

I can only imagine the chaos he would wreak on christmas eve - forced to stay up all night, meet an insane deadline, consuming nothing but sugar - I can see the old gent now, screaming carols and making naked snow angels.

Baby, you would NOT want gifts from bipolar Santa! Speaking from experience, I've made my most horrifying gift choices when on a manic bender (my father's 3rd wife never got over the twitch caused by unwrapping my wedding present, three, individually wrapped, hand-sized african beetles [for some reason, my theme was "metamorphosis"]. )

I can only imagine the chaos he would wreak on christmas eve - forced to stay up all night, meet an insane deadline, consuming nothing but sugar - I can see the old gent now, screaming carols and making naked snow angels.

lol oh i like you a lot lol you should see the gifts i give people. lol

hey Stephanie, you have done a very brave thing, I was so impressed when I read your post, you know, you really know! and you're saving your life and possibly your Mums too and anyone else in the family by walking away into life instead of being swamped by the family rules....good on you girl & stay away, don't weaken, I'm lonely as hell too but its better than being in toxic families, much better.
take good care
Rdog

Thank you all so much. I feel very alone with this and being accused of being 'melodramatic' by my family and being told to 'get a sense of proportion' is like being repeatedly slapped in the face. My husband and my 2 best friends have been amazingly supportive but Im so afraid of boring them with constantly talking about this and pushing them away like I have done at times before.
Im crying a lot at the moment and they make me feel like I am just adding to the stress in the family when there is enough already with my elderly grandmother needing care and my uncle who is an (unmedicated) manic depressive.
Strangely, they recognise the illness in him and its ok for him to be ill but I come from a very female dominated family where the women are always strong and in charge. I am the oldest daughter of the eldest daughter and it feels like Im not allowed to be unhappy or Im letting the 'team' down.

Hi Stephanie, I just joined the site wanted to say I hope you're sticking to you're guns. I've been in a similar situation and have ended up distancing myself from both of my parents and my sister because their hostile attitude towards me meant that there was no way I could even have told them that I was sick. It was the best thing I've ever done for my mental health.

Cut yourself some slack and don't worry about causing people stress. If you're sick, you're sick, it's not your fault, it's not like you got ill on purpose. Bipolar is a big deal, so you're allowed to make a big deal about it.

"Bipolar is a big deal, so you're allowed to make a big deal about it."

This just made me smile, thank you so much.