This is the first blog post I’ve ever written. A virgin blogger no longer.
Christmas is coming and I’m out of here. I am bound for Cape Town as I don’t resonate with the line, ”Tis a season to be jolly.” No pressure on us who wouldn’t know what jolly was if it came up and kicked us in the teeth. I wouldn’t even what muscles you have to use to pull a jolly face.
No holidays were celebrated in my house as a child, apart from Halloween, as my mother was too worried about all the cleaning up she’d have to do afterwards. But on Halloween you go out and you can make a mess at other people’s houses. Crumbs were her biggest fear and the idea of a real tree was the equivalent of sticking a knife in her heart. Once she got a cheap tree from the ‘everything for a dollar store’ made of tin foil so no nettles would drop off, and put my dog in a Christmas stocking. I think she missed the point...
I have reoccurring nightmares that Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders and their families are celebrating Christmas around a REAL decorated tree with a blazing fire, blazing. I’m an old woman in rags, all humped over out in the snow. I knock on the window and Jennifer opens the door and screams, “Get away old woman.” And I say sadly, “Don’t you remember me?” And she says, “No” and slams the door in my face. I know it’s coming it’s just when.
But those are my nightmares and luckily reality is a bit different.
It’s my daughter’s 21st birthday today - she is now older than me! Carrie Fisher is coming over at 3pm and I have decided I am going to wrap her in wrapping paper and give her to Maddy as a gift. I will take a photo and put it on the Black Dog Tribe Facebook page and my Twitter as it will be a big surprise to her and all her friends!
I do not know why Carrie has flown over today, I know it’s not because she knew she was going to be gift-wrapped but such is life. I first met Carrie when I interviewed her 400 years ago. Since then we’ve slept together many times. She looks how I feel and visa versa. Happy whatever it is that’s coming.